Africats’ Guide to Saying ‘Sorry’ Effectively

Ok, guys, listen up. It’s Africats resident dating guru Charlie McKenzie here. I was told by a female friend that the way a guy says ‘sorry’ could actually aggravate a fight. Did you even know that? I didn’t!

Apologizing is an art, especially to women. Men, on the other hand, hate saying sorry. There are ways that go beyond ‘I am sorry’ to convey your message of utter apology for whatever you’ve done wrong. Sure your sincerest apology will get you covered, especially if your girl is the forgiving type, but sometimes it is just not enough. Other times, it’s on how you say it, not on what you’re saying that makes her forgive you. And still, other times, making I special, sweet and memorable will make her forget about getting mad on your next offense.

How to Say ‘Sorry’ the Right Way

Here are some very effective ways to apologize to our girl for those (hopefully) rare moments you lapsed. Start out strong and make up for it. Nothing is ever more effective than to try to make up for what you did. You missed your anniversary? You forgot to pick her up? You lost last year’s anniversary gift? Try your best to do something about it to make it better. An apology is ideally composed of ‘I am sorry’, ‘I will not do it again’ and ‘How can I make up for it?’. Try to make up for what you have (or have not) done even when it’s impossible. Creativity is key. Find ways to remind her – in writing – that you are sorry. Sure you called to say you’re sorry and you texted her your longest apology text but should you stop there? Write her an apology letter (use a nice stationary too). Drop a note in her purse. Leave a message with flowers at her workplace. Order pizza with an ‘I am sorry’ scrawled in ketchup.

A really good idea is to ask her friends for help. Remember that a girl’s friends have so much effect and so much influence on how she thinks. Getting their sympathy and having them help you with your special apology will definitely help you get her much coveted forgiveness. Oh while at it, you’d have to apologize to her friends as well, and explain yourself because chances are, they know what you’ve done even before you have approached them about it. You can also ask your friends!  The guys at SIBG are awesome!

Just do something sweet. When she’s less angry and she’s all ready to go out with you, plan something surprisingly sweet during your date. Maybe ask your lounge singer to sing her favorite song and whisper ‘I love you and I’m sorry’ during the sweetest part of the song? Or ask someone at the restaurant to hand her flowers or a special cake for her?


Do something sweet. Stick love notes on unexpected places.

Go the extra mile even after she has forgiven you. Your apology should not end as soon as she says you’re okay. Plan a romantic weekend, go out on a date or do something really special and something you don’t do too often with your girlfriend. She should know that your sweetness and niceness do not wane as soon as she says you’re forgiven.

The main thing is when making an apology, the most effective way still is to be very sincere. It’s not a mind game men should play with women. Even the best forms of apologies will lose its efficiency if you keep doing the same mistake over and over.

Thanks for reading guys,

Stay cool, Charlie.

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