Girl Friend to Girlfriend: The Road from Friendship to Romance

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I’ve always been a fan of romantic comedy flicks and I noticed that most of the rom-coms I’ve seen revolved around how a girl and a guy’s friendship flourish into a romantic relationship. So I’ve decided to write about it.

We’ve seen it all in Hollywood: friends falling for each other and becoming lovers in the end. Film and TV make it look so easy, so ideal, and quite honestly, so misleading – feeding us the idea that the road from friendship to romance is one filled with golden roses and picturesque happy ever after with kisses in the sunsets.


Me and wifey during our trip

In reality, it has tons of awkward moments, painful rejections, unrequited love, and maybe even unsaid emotions. But how do you deal with it actually? How you react to this newfound feeling for someone you’ve only seen as a friend your entire life makes all the difference in how you are to deal with the rest of this situation.

The moment you realize you are indeed falling for her, you’ve got to make up your mind. At this point, it is very important not to do or say or give the slightest hint to her. You have to decide whether you will choose to ignore this or take the risk. Doing anything about it when you’re less than sure will be very detrimental to your friendship. She might end up hating you for it! So, is it a go or no? Is it worth the risk of losing the friendship? Do you realize how much things will change once you admit to her that you want to try dating with her? Are you willing to embrace those changes? What if she thinks it’s a preposterous idea and she rejects you – can you take it?

Good luck if you do decide to go for it, then by all means my mighty knight, ride into the cruel world of uncertainty. But if you decide to just keep things the way they are, then sit down, drink a few beers until you forget about the feeling and live like it never happened.

Pursuing your best girl-friend does not mean jumping the gun after your life-changing realization. You’re going to scare her away, silly! Take time to test the waters – ask hypothetical questions, take her out on solo dates WITHOUT going overboard romantic, and dress up a little fancier for her. She will notice the difference but will not repel it, so you have both the time and the chance to gauge how she would react the moment you tell her the mad truth. By the way, you might want to see this funny blog post on attraction.

If she reacts less than desired – thinks you’re weird for doing it, gets awkward at the thought of looking like a couple, etc – then you may have to back it down soldier. That, or you give her more time to be used to a ‘sweeter’ you. But don’t give her misleading statements just yet. The last thing you want is confuse her and then scare her away. Only you can tell how well-receiving she is to a new you. You are getting her used to seeing you differently: as a man and not as a buddy. You might also want to play some mind games with her to tell whether or not she’s interested.

And when she finally gets the idea, maybe then you could tell her, like a real gentleman, of your intentions and feelings. It can only end three ways anyway: Yes, no or not yet.

The secret to getting through it successfully is to give her time; rushing it would end up in you losing both the girl and the friend. And besides, even if a no, if you’ve done it right, you’ll still end up being great friends afterwards!

– Africats


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