I was a little busy this week setting up the seminar for our Africats Meditation method (check it out here). So guest blogger and dating coach Jenny provided this week’s article and insight on dating girls on the chubbier side.
“Most chubby girls, like their male counterparts, usually lean towards being shy and funny. Though not all, the social stigma on heavier girls have caused many of us on the heavier side are less than confident. We may easily poke fun at ourselves, but trust me, deep inside we chubby ladies are too sensitive when the ‘joke’ is on us by someone else.
So if you’re going to date a fluffy girl, or already are going out with one, here are some tips and side notes to remember:
To start, never compliment on the weight or the figure. Like I said, chubby girls are sensitive and can get a little defensive when the comment comes from someone else. The best way to go is always to leave out the compliment on something else. Compliment her clothes, her face, her hair, touch her in the right places and she would appreciate it – everything else will do just keep off the body joke.
Also, be careful with the comments you make about other people. Be the better man and stop judging and treating other people like trash. So you thought ‘haha that girl is missing a neck!’ joke is funny? Bah. Think again. It is not. I will never tire of saying this about my fellow fluffies: we are extra sensitive about the looks (not because we’re less beautiful than the skinny ones but because we know how society is wired to think that only the slim ones are beautiful). So whenever you make jokes about other people, her initial instinctive reaction is to look inwardly and think that you are sending a subtle message about and towards her. It’s like looking at someone else in the face and they wipe something off their face and you immediately think that they are actually hinting that you actually have something on your face.
It’s important that you do not try to change her. You are dating her because you like her and you enjoy her company and you want to get to know her more. You are her date (or boyfriend, as the case may be), not her personal gym instructor. If you really are concerned that her eating habits are becoming unhealthy, or that her weight is actually jeopardizing her well-being, do it in a way that makes your intention known and not in a way that makes her feel offended or criticized.
Otherwise, accept her for all that she is and all that she can be and be proud of her around other people. We are extremely self-conscious human beings. Thanks to the many narrow-minded people of this society, we become too conscious of the way people look at us and react to us in public. There’s an article by SIBG on what women want, regardless of figure and such. It’s universal, no matter what size or shape– that is, to feel loved, and be acknowledged.
That is why it is likewise very important to us to feel safe and secure during our date as far as our egos are concerned. Thankfully, I have that kind of boyfriend. He makes me feel so beautiful that I could not care less about what the world thinks about me or my body. All credit to the guy that keeps his eyes on me and me alone and notices no one else but me. That does a lot of good to how I feel about myself, and in return, how I feel about him.
So, do you know how to treat your curvy lady?
Thanks for reading, Jenny”
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