How are you guys? It’s been so long since my last blog post! I’ve been completely rushed off my feet with seminars and events this month so it’s been a while since I’ve had chance to write! But this week’s dating advice comes from watching a girlfriend mess a nice guy around. For more on mixed signals you may be receiving, check out this link too. 
Men are not the only players around these days. More and more women have come up boldly to show that they can play around relationships just as good as men can do. Surprisingly, these female players’ modus operandi are not any different from how the men have done it over the ages. Looks like you men have set quite a good example, haven’t you? And you might just never know when a player has hit you, see PUA database for tips.
The Telltale Signs
Here are some telltale signs that your ladylove is playing with you. Number one she does not commit. In general, women are more into commitment than men. And when they don’t commit, there can only be a few good reasons that I know: (1) they are unsure about themselves, about you or both; (2) they have been traumatized over a past relationship; or (3) they are not looking for anything serious and are just having fun (unfortunately, yes, at your expense). Usually, a player could not give a focused and direct answer about why she does not want to commit. A vague answer and a pretty disinterested and detached attitude should show up if indeed your ladylove is a player.
Or she is forever coming and going, she’s hot and cold, she’s bipolar towards you. One very obvious sign about players is that they like playing and messing with your mind and playing with you on their hands. One moment, they are the sweetest little kittens and you’d think you’re on your way towards a real relationship, the next day she either does not show up or gets mad at you for no reason. And just when you’re ready to give up on her and her antics, she comes back to you all sugary sweet like nothing happened. And then you get confused about how she truly feels about you. You get too confused that you just let it go and the cycle continues.
Another sign she’s playing with you is she does not tell you her whereabouts. Girls who are truly into you would let you know things about her life. However, the player’s life and stories are always shady, and it’s always ‘nothing much’ and ‘doesn’t matter’. Apparently, they don’t want to be caught in their tracks or have you swinging around them so much.
A good indicator as well is her usual visits to you are when she’s bored, grumpy, or problematic. If you’ve become her official 911 for her every little dilemma, and she does not share her great moments with you (i.e. birthday, promotion at work, etc), then maybe you are being used to cushion the bad moments. Don’t let her vulnerability and weakness lure you into believing that there’s anything serious about it; she just needs someone to massage her feet after the world and her skyhigh heels have battered them.
And also, she has never talked about upgrading your status and you’re forever just dating and getting to know each other; and she deliberately avoids talking about these things. That’s the farthest thing from her mind.
If there’s any hint or indication of these signs, stop yourself from falling too hard – she might just be playing with you! But don’t get angry, keep calm and move on; check out the Africats calming method by going to: http://africats.org/2013/02/africats-new-course-on-meditation-coming-soon/.
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