A reader recently wrote into us here at Africats asking for some help with a problem. And as we’re about more than just meditation and yoga, I wanted to step up and help out with some advice; he wrote in to ask, “Susan, I need some dating advice. My mom really dislikes my girlfriend and it’s cousing tension for me. What Should I do?” I was chatting at a seminar recently with a guy who turned out to be a dating coach. So I got to asking him for what to share with my reader. So dating guru, Charlie McKenzie, guest wrote this piece in response.
“This is a problem that would be quite normal and okay to talk about when you’re 15 or 16, you know, when you’re dating someone older in high school and your mom flips out when she sees her with her nose piercing and wrist tattoo. While it is embarrassing then, it was acceptable – you were young. But when you are still having this exact same problem – with your mommy getting mad at you and obviously hating your girlfriend for reasons that are both valid and invalid – there is a reason to be alarmed and yes, sort of ashamed.
Surely, this will help Sonic Seduction’s step-by-step guide to approaching women.
What to Do
So, what do you exactly do when the two women of your life cannot be in the same room together? How do you make your mom like your girlfriend, or at least make her hate your lover less?
If you’re in this type of conflict, read on and take note because it would take more than a delicious plate of apple pie for Mommy to like your ladylove.
Firs off, sit her down and ask your Mom why. Sometimes, even your mom’s best intention just could not translate as a good action. I’m sure your mom means well, that’s why she disapproves of your relationship. After all, we’re talking here about the woman who took care of you since you were little, and the woman on whose she would entrust you to. It’s like a president handing over the presidential seat; the former would definitely want to ensure that his country is in great hands well into his retirement. So ask Mom, calmly and not confrontationally, casually and nicely – and listen to what she has to say. She may have seen something in her that will get you into trouble and heeding her advice might actually save you from tons of heartaches. View this interesting helpful article.
And remember don’t force them into each other. Constantly putting them together in a room would be awkward and annoying. SO if you don’t want them both to get mad at you, don’t try too hard at it. Leave the meetings to a minimum; unless you’re already planning to marry, you really and technically don’t have to have them meet on a regular basis.
Also a word of advice, don’t tell your mom all your grievances about your girlfriend. Keep your dirty laundry to yourselves. Unless you badly, badly, badly need Mom’s counsel, don’t tell her about how untidy your girlfriend is at home, or how her cooking sucks, or how much better life is with mommy. That’s just kindling the fire even more and you know that it will never do you any good. Not at all. Don’t talk about her unless it’s pitching in a good word or two that will make her change her mind about her.
Ask your girlfriend to be patient and to reach out to your mom. In this scenario, your girlfriend would have to be the bigger person. She has something to prove, your mom doesn’t. So make sure you help your girlfriend get the chance to disprove your mom’s opinion of her. And her patience would pay off in the long run. Maybe if it’s something particular she’s done it might help her to read this article on saying sorry effectively.”
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